(A Friendly Roast for Local Business Owners)
A lovingly sarcastic look back… so we can all move forward.
Welcome to your annual “shoulda, coulda, woulda” recap — the guide nobody asked for, but everyone secretly needs. Think of this as your digital year‑in‑review, written with affection, a dash of Central Valley realism, and just enough humor to keep things honest.
Let’s begin.
🧩 1. The Year in Tech… or: Why Your Website Still Isn’t Updated
Last year was bursting with tech trends — AI breakthroughs, new tools, digital revolutions. And yet, somehow… a few things slipped through the cracks. Let’s review what you shoulda done (but didn’t):
- “You shoulda updated your homepage photo so it doesn’t still say ‘Happy World Ag Expo 2022.’”
- “You shoulda backed up your files… but hey, living dangerously builds character.”
- “You shoulda switched to a faster hosting plan, but procrastination is a proud American tradition.”
🏛️ 2. The Politics Section (Don’t Worry, It’s Safe)
We all lived through the same circus — the debates, the headlines, the memes, the “I’m never talking politics again” promises that lasted about 48 hours.
- “You shoulda spent less time arguing on Facebook and more time updating your business hours.”
- “Regardless of who you voted for, we can all agree: the memes were top‑tier.”
📈 3. The Economy: A Roller Coaster Nobody Asked For
Inflation, supply chain surprises, gas prices doing their best impression of a Six Flags ride — we felt it all.
- “You shoulda raised your prices before everything else did.”
- “You shoulda stocked up on supplies before they became ‘limited edition.’”
- “You shoulda invested in coffee futures.”
🛠️ 4. Small Business Resolutions You Definitely Made… and Definitely Forgot
Every January, we all swear we’re going to be more organized, more consistent, more… something. And then life happens.
- “You shoulda posted on social media more than twice.”
- “You shoulda asked your nephew to stop being your ‘IT guy.’”
- “You shoulda finally switched from that ancient email address you made in high school.”
📱 5. Social Media: The Year We All Promised to Quit… Again
Every year we swear we’re done with doomscrolling — and every year, doomscrolling says “lol no.”
- “You shoulda stopped doomscrolling and started goalscrolling.”
- “You shoulda posted that holiday sale before the holiday was over.”
- “You shoulda learned that Reels aren’t just for teenagers.”
- “You shoulda learned that not every social media platform is worth joining.”
🧙♂️ 6. AI, Tech Trends, and Other Things You Pretended to Understand
AI exploded last year, and suddenly everyone was an expert… or at least pretending to be.
- “You shoulda asked what ‘the cloud’ actually is.”
- “You shoulda stopped saying ‘I’ll look into that’ when someone mentioned SEO.”
- “You shoulda learned about accessibility requirements.”
- “You shoulda realized AI can help you… not replace you.”
🧹 7. The Great Digital Cleanup You Didn’t Do
We all have digital skeletons in our closets.
- “You shoulda deleted those 4,000 unread emails.”
- “You shoulda organized your desktop so it didn’t look like a digital junk drawer.”
- “You shoulda changed your password from ‘password123.’”
🎉 8. But Hey — It’s Not Too Late
Here’s the good news:
Last year is over. You survived it. And now you get a clean slate.
“Sure, last year got away from you. But the good news? A new year means a clean slate, a fresh start, and a chance to finally do all the things you shoulda done. And if you want help with the website part — I’m right here.”
🌟 Bonus: Keeping It Local
Because we’re Central Valley folks, we can’t forget:
- “You shoulda remembered it would be 110° again.”
- “You shoulda updated your site before the rush hit during Visalia Taste the Arts.”
- “You shoulda known the fog would roll in exactly when you needed to be somewhere on time.”
